Please note, the date of this missive was February 28, 2007
In a world of dry skin, how can a "Cup of Joe" help your target demographic?
I was speaking with a close associate the other day about our vending machines with patented CoollMisstTM technology, and he commented that no one in the Northeast or Midwest would want a cooling mist at this time of year. After careful thought, I decided he is most likely correct in this observation.
Still, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are nothing if not resourceful, creative, and thoughtful. Thus was born the Next Big ThingSM in the marketing communications industry.
As many of us are painfully aware, during the "heating" season, the air in our homes, offices, and public transportation tends to become extremely dry (and drying!) - producing a surfeit of static electricity (I've mentioned to my partner, Pat, the at-time-humorous effect of static electricity and man-made fibers) and of dry, itching skin.
"How," I hear many of you ask, "can a beverage vending machine help in this, and how can that helping be of use to me in my marketing communications?" That is precisely the question which you should be asking, and I'm pleased to know that many of you are doing just that.
Clearly, spraying a cooling mist at people who are already cold is not something to be considered a "wise" idea - but what if we were to emulate a spa, and lavish a bit of moisture upon the customer? We could take him (or her!) from looking like a refugee from a Van de Graaf generator, to a perfectly coiffed, well dressed consumer in no time. In fact, we might be able to alleviate some of the "itching" of his (or her!) skin as well, simply by "enhancing" the water in the misting reservoir with a bit of emollients or other moisturizing ingredients.
Still, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC wonder if a cold soda and a moisturizer are the ideal combination. Accordingly, we are hard at work on a hot beverage dispensing vending machine with patent-pending MoistureMistTM technology. Now, as our target audience is watching the full-motion video on the front of the machine, he (or she!) will be enveloped in a soft cloud of moisturizing vapors, enhanced by the aroma of freshly brewing coffee (or tea!).
What better way to tell your target demographic that you wish them well than to make their skin softer, with fewer cracks and rough spots, while ending the "frizzies" (remember those TV commercials about frizzies?) and providing a warm, comforting message, all in the context of receiving a warm, comforting beverage?
What better way indeed?
As noted above, the patent on our MoistureMistTM technology is still pending, and we continue our developmental work - the coffee and tea vending machines occasionally play the videos in a somewhat jittery manner, apparently running just slightly faster than standard. We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are working on isolating the cause, and will put the machines out for bids in the near future.
Stay tuned for more!
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about a couple words which we had thought were gone from the marketing vocabulary:
Mark Studdock responded:
"Jay, it's very easy to tell everyone to stop using two words, but until you empower them with ...."
Mark, I think you missed the point of my article. I explained that, regardless of our being tired of those ragged and shop-worn terms, they still convey concepts with which we must wrestle, and on which we must ultimately deliver.
I encourage you to read more closely, and to think before hitting "send" in your email program.
-- Jay
Friday, April 13, 2007
Bedtime for Buzzwords
Please note: the date of this missive was February 23, 2007
In the argot of marketing, there are two words which must not be spoken!
Quick - name two words that we were all glad to see disappear from our marketing jargon lexicon. I would wager a cold Pepsi® product that most of you included at least one of these: synergy and convergence.
I must include myself in the list of those not missing those words, however, I must also say that we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are uniquely poised to deliver the benefits which were only hinted at by those two (happily!) now-defunct terms.
"How?" I hear many of you ask. "Like this," I answer.
Nearly every marketing pro this side of retirement has heard about web-isodes and mobi-sodes ad nauseum by now. Those, we are here to tell you, merely represent the opening salvo in a veritable tsunami of frenzied repurposing, to coin a metaphor.
What could possibly be the next wave in synergistic repurposed convergence? After webisodes and mobisodes, it's time for episodas. That's right - producers at all the major studios will soon be pouring full-motion, live action short features and series for distribution on full-motion capable, wi-fi-enabled beverage vending machines - and you all know where to go for the chance to sponsor these, now don't you?
In fact, some enterprising marketers (BMW comes to mind) have already been active in creating their own short films for release on the "internet" and via cellular telephone technology. This is merely the next logical stop on the evolutionary escalator of advertising and marketing messaging. While no longer physically addictive, there is no doubt that refreshing carbonated beverages (and even non-carbonated iced-teas!) can become habitual. Why not turn your customers' appointment drinking into appointment viewing at the same time?!
We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe that only the wisest and most forward thinking marketers will rush in here where sluggards fear to tread - you know in which camp you belong!
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about his Big Game experience:
Simone Larrabie responded:
"What makes you think we're interested in your whining about getting wet? I don't tell everyone about my wetness, and you probably shouldn't either. If you don't know enough to take an umbrella to ..."
Simone, I think you've hit the nail on the head, as it were.
Rest assured that I will no longer "complain" about the weather in this column, nor will I be caught without an umbrella and some rubbers!
- Jay
In the argot of marketing, there are two words which must not be spoken!
Quick - name two words that we were all glad to see disappear from our marketing jargon lexicon. I would wager a cold Pepsi® product that most of you included at least one of these: synergy and convergence.
I must include myself in the list of those not missing those words, however, I must also say that we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are uniquely poised to deliver the benefits which were only hinted at by those two (happily!) now-defunct terms.
"How?" I hear many of you ask. "Like this," I answer.
Nearly every marketing pro this side of retirement has heard about web-isodes and mobi-sodes ad nauseum by now. Those, we are here to tell you, merely represent the opening salvo in a veritable tsunami of frenzied repurposing, to coin a metaphor.
What could possibly be the next wave in synergistic repurposed convergence? After webisodes and mobisodes, it's time for episodas. That's right - producers at all the major studios will soon be pouring full-motion, live action short features and series for distribution on full-motion capable, wi-fi-enabled beverage vending machines - and you all know where to go for the chance to sponsor these, now don't you?
In fact, some enterprising marketers (BMW comes to mind) have already been active in creating their own short films for release on the "internet" and via cellular telephone technology. This is merely the next logical stop on the evolutionary escalator of advertising and marketing messaging. While no longer physically addictive, there is no doubt that refreshing carbonated beverages (and even non-carbonated iced-teas!) can become habitual. Why not turn your customers' appointment drinking into appointment viewing at the same time?!
We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe that only the wisest and most forward thinking marketers will rush in here where sluggards fear to tread - you know in which camp you belong!
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about his Big Game experience:
Simone Larrabie responded:
"What makes you think we're interested in your whining about getting wet? I don't tell everyone about my wetness, and you probably shouldn't either. If you don't know enough to take an umbrella to ..."
Simone, I think you've hit the nail on the head, as it were.
Rest assured that I will no longer "complain" about the weather in this column, nor will I be caught without an umbrella and some rubbers!
- Jay
Big Football Game Memories
Please note - the date of this missive was February 15, 2007
I'm not allowed to use the real name of the game, but you know what I mean!
You just knew something would have to go wrong, didn't you? After all, how could something as complicated as a random drawing of three marketing professionals for the chance at a ticket to theSuperBowl "Big Football Game" at the eleventh hour possibly go smoothly.
Well, in fact, our part here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC went off without a hitch - the three names were drawn, the entire newsletter list was notified, the winners were chosen, and that was that. Until the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau was exposed as being a Convention and Visitors Bamboozler! Rain?! An open-air stadium?! Did no one think to warn the fans that they might want to bring rain-gear to the game?!
Let me just say that had we at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC been running the promotion of the game, there would have been some contingency plans made for inclement weather.
Still, apart from the disappointment felt by my guest at the defeat of "Da Bears" (but not one bit at the quality of the footlong which had been promised him!), I had a relatively enjoyable time (I was only treated to a bun-size wiener, as the footlong variety were seemingly in short supply). Our only real regret - Frank's and mine - was that they don't pipe the spectacular advertising (in all its High Definition glory!) onto the JumbotronTM in the stadium for those of us to whom the advertising is as important as the game.
Still, Franklin and I managed to stave off hunger with a Snickers® on the way back to the parking lot after the game, and we discussed the endless promotional possibilities of which we might avail ourselves (on behalf of our brands and/or clients) at the next such athletic event. That will be the subject of my next newsletter, but I didn't want too much time to go by without some kind of report on the game.
Oddly, we still have never heard from Mr. Caponigro regarding the ticket contest (perhaps he decided there was no point), so Pat and I had no choice but to consume his third prize award of a six-pack of Yoo-hoo® and a sleeve of GooGoo Clusters®. Better luck next time, Joe!
Excelsior!
Last time, Jay wrote about
the search for a reader to use Pat's ticket to the game in Miami and notified the winner:
Stephen P. Boulware responded:
"Man, Jay, I thought for sure I'd be the first to reply and get to go to Miami and all that, but thanks for the chili dogs ..."
Steve, I was pulling for you too, my friend. I had visions of us with our footlongs in the middle of that crowd. Of course, I was pulling for Frank and Joe as well -
I'm not allowed to use the real name of the game, but you know what I mean!
You just knew something would have to go wrong, didn't you? After all, how could something as complicated as a random drawing of three marketing professionals for the chance at a ticket to the
Well, in fact, our part here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC went off without a hitch - the three names were drawn, the entire newsletter list was notified, the winners were chosen, and that was that. Until the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau was exposed as being a Convention and Visitors Bamboozler! Rain?! An open-air stadium?! Did no one think to warn the fans that they might want to bring rain-gear to the game?!
Let me just say that had we at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC been running the promotion of the game, there would have been some contingency plans made for inclement weather.
Still, apart from the disappointment felt by my guest at the defeat of "Da Bears" (but not one bit at the quality of the footlong which had been promised him!), I had a relatively enjoyable time (I was only treated to a bun-size wiener, as the footlong variety were seemingly in short supply). Our only real regret - Frank's and mine - was that they don't pipe the spectacular advertising (in all its High Definition glory!) onto the JumbotronTM in the stadium for those of us to whom the advertising is as important as the game.
Still, Franklin and I managed to stave off hunger with a Snickers® on the way back to the parking lot after the game, and we discussed the endless promotional possibilities of which we might avail ourselves (on behalf of our brands and/or clients) at the next such athletic event. That will be the subject of my next newsletter, but I didn't want too much time to go by without some kind of report on the game.
Oddly, we still have never heard from Mr. Caponigro regarding the ticket contest (perhaps he decided there was no point), so Pat and I had no choice but to consume his third prize award of a six-pack of Yoo-hoo® and a sleeve of GooGoo Clusters®. Better luck next time, Joe!
Excelsior!
Last time, Jay wrote about
the search for a reader to use Pat's ticket to the game in Miami and notified the winner:
Stephen P. Boulware responded:
"Man, Jay, I thought for sure I'd be the first to reply and get to go to Miami and all that, but thanks for the chili dogs ..."
Steve, I was pulling for you too, my friend. I had visions of us with our footlongs in the middle of that crowd. Of course, I was pulling for Frank and Joe as well -
Who's the Lucky Winner?
Please note - the date of this missive was February 2, 2007!
| A Few Days of Suspense Never Hurt Anyone! |
| As you know, my partner, Pat, is unable to attend the Super Bowl game with me, thus making available a single seat for this fabulous, one-shot World Series wannabe. We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC announced (a scant three days ago) the three lucky marketers who had been randomly selected as finalists in the competition for this extravaganza, and now it's time for us to announce just who has won the ticket. It may come as little surprise to most readers that the first response was received quite quickly. In fact, it arrived a mere thirty six hours after we had sent out our call to action! The winner, in his e-mail reply, informed me of how anxious he was to see "Da Bears" stomp all over those "no-good, late-night sneaking Colts" in person. Still more gratifying to me, he also averred that he could hardly wait to "get that foot-long in his mouth" as mentioned in the contest announcement. "Enough with the suspense," I hear you say. Indeed, I'm pleased to announce that my guest at Dolphin Stadium on Sunday will be Congratulations to Mr. Trowbridge, and condolences to Stephen P. Boulware, our second-place entrant. Steve will be receiving a package of Bun Length Ball Park® All-Beef Franks, a package of Wonder Bread® Hot Dog Buns, and a can of Hormel® Chili (No Beans!) so he can enjoy a "Chili Dog" while watching the game at home. As to Joseph Caponigro, we never heard from him - perhaps he's a Baseball-Only kind of guy? Excelsior! |
A Special Offer For You!
Please note the date of this missive was January 30, 2007!
| You May Have Already Won - See Below |
| An unfortunate chain of events has led to the availability of my partner, Pat's, ticket to the Super Bowl this Sunday. Under normal circumstances, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC would hold some kind of contest for our friends in the industry, leading to the use of said ticket. At this late date, however, that would be very difficult. In lieu of said contest, we conducted a random spin of my Rolodex, choosing three potential winners. The first of these three lucky professionals to reply to this email will be joining me at Dolphin Stadium for a spectacular evening of foot-ball and foot-longs. Before we proceed any further, let us apologize to those receiving this note whose names are not in the "Lucky Three" - we want you to know that we share your disappointment, but wanted you to know that you really did have a chance to attend the "Big Game" in Miami. In order to avoid any problems, the winner, upon notification, will be met at our reserved parking space (in the "Tundra Preferred" section of the Dolphin Stadium parking system!), and then escorted to our seats in Section 115. We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC regret that the winner will have to be responsible for getting to the game (and back home!), as we simply don't have time to arrange for a Luxury Executive Motorcoach, as would be our normal mode of operation. Finally, the "Lucky Three" marketers are (in reverse alphabetical order!):
Excelsior! |
The Big Game?
More Like a One-Shot, World Series Wannabe, if you ask me!
You may have noticed the frenzy of football-ish tie-ins and marketing foo-faw all around the nation these days. Actually, you'd almost have to be dead to have missed it, I suppose.
At any rate, why are we letting the television networks tell us about what to be excited? Why are we ceding control of our remotes to the whims of advertisers from hither and yon?
It seems certain that we in the marketing biz have convinced your "average Joe" that this coming Sunday is all about some spectacular commercials, interspersed with large, sweaty men knocking one another down in front of a large audience.
"Bread and Circuses!" I hear someone cry.
"Lead Poisoning," is my considered reply.
That's right; I believe it's a lead-pipe cinch that this national glut of televised sales pitches and physical derring-do is little more than a sign of the downfall of civilization as we know it.
Why should we want all that football to interrupt our enjoyment of the commercials, when we could simply stop at the local beverage vending machine for a full-motion story - with no annoying interruptions?
Riddle me that, Batman, Riddle me that.
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about the #1 marketing trend for 2007:
Herb Stringfellow responded:
"It seems to me, Jay, that all you ever do is recycle that same, tired sales pitch about soda machines.
"Don't you have anything new to tell us?"
Thanks, Herb.
You may have caught on to one of the key secrets of good marketing and advertising: repetition!
That's right, if you want someone to remember what you've told them, you will most likely have to repeat it a few times.
Thanks for noticing.
Well done and Excelsior!
-- Jay
You may have noticed the frenzy of football-ish tie-ins and marketing foo-faw all around the nation these days. Actually, you'd almost have to be dead to have missed it, I suppose.
At any rate, why are we letting the television networks tell us about what to be excited? Why are we ceding control of our remotes to the whims of advertisers from hither and yon?
It seems certain that we in the marketing biz have convinced your "average Joe" that this coming Sunday is all about some spectacular commercials, interspersed with large, sweaty men knocking one another down in front of a large audience.
"Bread and Circuses!" I hear someone cry.
"Lead Poisoning," is my considered reply.
That's right; I believe it's a lead-pipe cinch that this national glut of televised sales pitches and physical derring-do is little more than a sign of the downfall of civilization as we know it.
Why should we want all that football to interrupt our enjoyment of the commercials, when we could simply stop at the local beverage vending machine for a full-motion story - with no annoying interruptions?
Riddle me that, Batman, Riddle me that.
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about the #1 marketing trend for 2007:
Herb Stringfellow responded:
"It seems to me, Jay, that all you ever do is recycle that same, tired sales pitch about soda machines.
"Don't you have anything new to tell us?"
Thanks, Herb.
You may have caught on to one of the key secrets of good marketing and advertising: repetition!
That's right, if you want someone to remember what you've told them, you will most likely have to repeat it a few times.
Thanks for noticing.
Well done and Excelsior!
-- Jay
New Year's Resolutions?
After a few months of trying to regain access to our blog, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have finally been successful. We'll be posting our recent newsletters here - some in slightly edited form - as we catch back up with our normal blogging schedule. Excelsior!
Note that the date of this missive was January 11, 2007
More Like Old Year's Resolutions,
if you ask Me!
It's that time of year again, when we all try to improve ourselves by resolving to lose weight, or gain weight, or stop losing sleep (or hair!). It's also that time of year when we realize that we've got about zero chance of any of that stuff really happening.
That's why we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend not to dwell on issues of personal appearance (nor even hygiene, from the looks of an associate or two! - just kidding, Herb!). After all, the time spent worrying about which notch to use in our belts is time not spent creating stunning marketing opportunities for our clients!
Still, it seems almost obligatory to come up with a list of the top ten new marketing activities, or the top ten companies poised for greatness, or whatever.
However, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend not to follow trends, but rather to create them - to blaze trails, boldly to go where no marketer has gone before! (Has that split infinitive bothered anyone else all these years? Ye gods, Gene Roddenberry must have been grammatically challenged.)
Accordingly, Jay Standish, Inc. LLC predicts that the number one marketing trend and opportunity for 2007 will be full-motion capable, Wi-Fi-enabled, beverage vending machines, equipped with CoollMisstTM technology.
How many marketers can afford to ignore the opportunity to not only quench a potential customer's thirst, but also to cool him (or her!) with a blast of cooling mist, while he (or she!) is entertained by a full-motion video of the marketer's product in use? How many? We here at Jay Standish. Inc. LLC would say there are none who can afford that. Ignorance, in this case,
is far from bliss - it's more like lost sales!
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about finding a balance between work and home:
Bob Barden responded:
"I think I see what you mean, but you're so full of it when it comes to figuring how to decide between business meetings and social events.
If I went to every one of my kids' soccer games, I'd ..."
Thanks, Bob, but we're really not that interested in your parental angst - this is a marketing newsletter, not a parenting support group.
Note that the date of this missive was January 11, 2007
More Like Old Year's Resolutions,
if you ask Me!
It's that time of year again, when we all try to improve ourselves by resolving to lose weight, or gain weight, or stop losing sleep (or hair!). It's also that time of year when we realize that we've got about zero chance of any of that stuff really happening.
That's why we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend not to dwell on issues of personal appearance (nor even hygiene, from the looks of an associate or two! - just kidding, Herb!). After all, the time spent worrying about which notch to use in our belts is time not spent creating stunning marketing opportunities for our clients!
Still, it seems almost obligatory to come up with a list of the top ten new marketing activities, or the top ten companies poised for greatness, or whatever.
However, we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend not to follow trends, but rather to create them - to blaze trails, boldly to go where no marketer has gone before! (Has that split infinitive bothered anyone else all these years? Ye gods, Gene Roddenberry must have been grammatically challenged.)
Accordingly, Jay Standish, Inc. LLC predicts that the number one marketing trend and opportunity for 2007 will be full-motion capable, Wi-Fi-enabled, beverage vending machines, equipped with CoollMisstTM technology.
How many marketers can afford to ignore the opportunity to not only quench a potential customer's thirst, but also to cool him (or her!) with a blast of cooling mist, while he (or she!) is entertained by a full-motion video of the marketer's product in use? How many? We here at Jay Standish. Inc. LLC would say there are none who can afford that. Ignorance, in this case,
is far from bliss - it's more like lost sales!
Excelsior!
Last week, Jay wrote about finding a balance between work and home:
Bob Barden responded:
"I think I see what you mean, but you're so full of it when it comes to figuring how to decide between business meetings and social events.
If I went to every one of my kids' soccer games, I'd ..."
Thanks, Bob, but we're really not that interested in your parental angst - this is a marketing newsletter, not a parenting support group.
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