Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Sad News

This is Jay's partner, Pat. (Yes, I really do exist.) I am writing to all those in Jay's electronic "Rolodex®" and on his "internet blog" to inform you that Jay has perished in a tragic accident.

Jay had decided to add to his already legendary athletic achievements in the bi-athlon by branching out into the "modern" pent-athlon. What with his rock-hard abs, steady hand, and practiced eye, the shooting, riding, running, swimming, and fencing involved in the modern pent-athlon seemed a sure bet.

Even allowing for his somewhat rusty equestrian skills, that assessment was right on the money, through the first four (4) of the five (5) events. Sadly, his wrist seemed ill-suited to fencing, and he was killed in a freak rapier accident by his "sparring" partner, Jody. Jody is holding up better than we expected - better than the police expected as well, leading to Jody's being taken in for further "questioning" by the authorities.

Jay is gone, but not yet forgotten, and long may he wave, although we're all at half mast here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. Please remember to pay any outstanding invoices promptly so we can close our books and move on to the next chapter in our various and assorted lives.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Sir Charles Guinness Deficit Society.

As Jay would have said:
Pat Mullins,
Jay Standish, Inc. LLC