Finding buyers in the future may take a new set of skills and attitudes.
It seems one can hardly turn the page of a marketing trade publication or advertising "rag" without finding them trumpeting "virtual worlds" or "wikis" or "social networks" or "user generated content" or some other venue of supposedly heightened consumer openness or susceptibility to a marketing message [an interesting aside: my research into these various venues on the "internet" yielded this tidbit. The word "wiki" comes from several related words in various Amerindian, or aboriginal, tongues such as wiikiyaapi in the Fox language or wikiop in Menominee which denote a structure somewhat similar to a wigwam or tipi (teepee to those of us over a certain age!) - thus a "wiki" is a place where web "denizens" can live - or even their information can reside there. Fascinating!].
Invariably, it seems that the articles attached to these concepts advise the readers to relinquish control of their brands, to engage in conversations with their customers, rather than to lecture them. This seems to be the entire wisdom and promise of the Web "2.0" crowds - brand owners ought not to control their brands, they ought to ride the crest of the waves of consumer whims and fancies wherever they may lead.
Hogwash.
I'll say it again. Hogwash.
We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC firmly believe in the power of the raconteur, rather than of the relinquisher. Yes, storytelling is alive and well, and at the heart of any strong brand.
Consider this droll little tale:
A young mother (perhaps played by the delicious Parker Posey?) is out strolling near an elementary school when the bell rings for dismissal.
A bright little moppet arrives at Mother's side, beaming seraphically, and asks for a snack.
Mom, returning the child's smile, hands him a Baby Ruth® candy bar and a bottle of Pepsi One®.
"Isn't it sad how President Cleveland's daughter didn't live to see the candy bar they named after her?" asks the boy. "We learned all about it in our history class today." He skips ahead, chewing a nougat-filled bite of his Baby Ruth® as Mom smiles and chuckles to herself.
"Honey, what would you think of getting a Quizno's® sandwich for dinner tonight?" she asks as they arrive at her shining new Ford TaurusTM, they have a pepper bar, you know."
She starts the car, but checks her son's seat belt to be sure it's snugly buckled. "Mom, I'm so glad you got this Ford TaurusTM - I feel so safe when I ride in it with you."
Now tell me (if you can!) that the rich heritage and brand attributes (and even a Unique Selling Proposition or two) didn't come through loud and clear - certainly more so than were we to let our customers (or our detractors!) tell us about our products.
Don't relinquish control of your brand conversation - Steer it!
A brief postscript:
We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC bid a fond and nearly tearful farewell to the late, great Evel Knievel, who shuffled off this mortal coil today.
If ever a man lived the Excelsior! life, it was he - it was he indeed.
Excelsior! Jay
Last time, Jay wrote about debts and Thanksgiving:
Irv Levin responded:
"I guess I'm glad you guys are making enough money to forgive some bad debts, but what about the rest of us, Jay? Some of us are drowning in red ink up to our armpits! It's getting pretty bad, and I don't know if you realize ..."
Irv, thanks for the heartfelt outpouring of anguish, ennui, and so forth. I think you'll find a closer reading of the last missive was a celebration of looking generous while actually getting a higher return than might otherwise be realized.
Please go back and re-read it, and calm down, my friend, it's not all gloom and doom, just the vast preponderance!
-- Jay
Friday, November 30, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
We're Thankful for You!
Our Faithful Readers, Clients, and Friends
Make All of This Worth-While!
Well, the week is winding down toward its wonted end of Thursday, followed by "black" Friday, and it's time for those of us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC to reflect on what it is that makes us thankful (and to whom - and to whom!).
It's all of you, our faithful readers, clients, and friends who swell our hearts (and souls!) with the true spirit of the holiday (viz. Thanksgiving). Not only am I personally thankful that I am still able to write these weekly (or so) missives, but I am thankful for all of my associates and partners here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC (former partners excepted, of course!). We have been very fortunate this year, both personally and financially, and in the topsie-turvie world of the current financial situation of many companies - large and small! - we can but say our thanks to each and every one of you.
What with the news of all the major financial institutions having to write off or write down vast amounts of bad or un-collectible loans, it seems a bit petty for an organization which has been as blessed as we have been these past several years to hang on to our own "bad" debts. This is, many of you probably realize, easier than it would have been a few short months ago, "thanks" to my former partner, Pat, and his scheme for business enhancement. But I digress. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have decided that every one of our outstanding invoices will be written "off" as a bad debt. This, as I said, is easier than it would have been, as there is only one such invoice at this point - an old invoice for some market research on an early iteration of our full-motion-capable beverage vending machines (this pre-dates WiFi by many months, if our time-line is correct). Accordingly - no names here, but you know who you are - said invoice is hereby canceled, and accounted as null, void, and ex officio. Frankly, it's a load off my mind anyway - we probably should have done this a long time ago, as it became obvious that he wasn't going to pay. But I digress again.
"But, Jay," I hear you wonder, "isn't there any marketing information this week?" Ah, dear friends, you've just seen as slick a marketing scheme in operation as you'd ever want to. While we are truly clearing that debt from our books, and while we still remain open to doing business in the future with the "stiff" (that's the technical term my bookkeeper uses), a large part of the reason for the "gesture" is to elicit good-will from the rest of our clients. By seeing that we do business in a friendly and gracious manner, our clients are encouraged to count on us to be equally gracious with them (and we will be - fear not!). Yes, we will try to extend similar "gestures" to other clients as the situations present themselves, but that doesn't mean we're not counting on doing business in an ethical, friendly manner to really boost the bottom line: we are, and you can too.
Not only does being nice boost the bottom line, it makes me feel good at the same time. I'm going to head out to the gym for a little extra fencing practice now, but please, visit the "blog" on the internet and let us know what you think, and for what you are thankful.
Excelsior!
Jay
Last week, Jay wrote about Gas Station Television:
Thom Dranking responded:
"Jay, first off, I'd like to meet your sister - any bird who likes the scent of petrol is brilliant in my book! Next, though, I think you're being a bit too harsh in your criticism of this concept. I think you might find that "gear-heads" as you call them are strong consumers of many products, including news and information..."
Nice try, mate, but I still can't imagine being sold the idea of a tasty sub, a Quizno® perhaps, while choking on the fumes from the diesel at the next pump, let alone the "petrol" (ha! that's how I knew you were a "limey") odour from the pump at my own car.
-- Jay
Well, the week is winding down toward its wonted end of Thursday, followed by "black" Friday, and it's time for those of us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC to reflect on what it is that makes us thankful (and to whom - and to whom!).
It's all of you, our faithful readers, clients, and friends who swell our hearts (and souls!) with the true spirit of the holiday (viz. Thanksgiving). Not only am I personally thankful that I am still able to write these weekly (or so) missives, but I am thankful for all of my associates and partners here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC (former partners excepted, of course!). We have been very fortunate this year, both personally and financially, and in the topsie-turvie world of the current financial situation of many companies - large and small! - we can but say our thanks to each and every one of you.
What with the news of all the major financial institutions having to write off or write down vast amounts of bad or un-collectible loans, it seems a bit petty for an organization which has been as blessed as we have been these past several years to hang on to our own "bad" debts. This is, many of you probably realize, easier than it would have been a few short months ago, "thanks" to my former partner, Pat, and his scheme for business enhancement. But I digress. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have decided that every one of our outstanding invoices will be written "off" as a bad debt. This, as I said, is easier than it would have been, as there is only one such invoice at this point - an old invoice for some market research on an early iteration of our full-motion-capable beverage vending machines (this pre-dates WiFi by many months, if our time-line is correct). Accordingly - no names here, but you know who you are - said invoice is hereby canceled, and accounted as null, void, and ex officio. Frankly, it's a load off my mind anyway - we probably should have done this a long time ago, as it became obvious that he wasn't going to pay. But I digress again.
"But, Jay," I hear you wonder, "isn't there any marketing information this week?" Ah, dear friends, you've just seen as slick a marketing scheme in operation as you'd ever want to. While we are truly clearing that debt from our books, and while we still remain open to doing business in the future with the "stiff" (that's the technical term my bookkeeper uses), a large part of the reason for the "gesture" is to elicit good-will from the rest of our clients. By seeing that we do business in a friendly and gracious manner, our clients are encouraged to count on us to be equally gracious with them (and we will be - fear not!). Yes, we will try to extend similar "gestures" to other clients as the situations present themselves, but that doesn't mean we're not counting on doing business in an ethical, friendly manner to really boost the bottom line: we are, and you can too.
Not only does being nice boost the bottom line, it makes me feel good at the same time. I'm going to head out to the gym for a little extra fencing practice now, but please, visit the "blog" on the internet and let us know what you think, and for what you are thankful.
Excelsior!
Jay
Last week, Jay wrote about Gas Station Television:
Thom Dranking responded:
"Jay, first off, I'd like to meet your sister - any bird who likes the scent of petrol is brilliant in my book! Next, though, I think you're being a bit too harsh in your criticism of this concept. I think you might find that "gear-heads" as you call them are strong consumers of many products, including news and information..."
Nice try, mate, but I still can't imagine being sold the idea of a tasty sub, a Quizno® perhaps, while choking on the fumes from the diesel at the next pump, let alone the "petrol" (ha! that's how I knew you were a "limey") odour from the pump at my own car.
-- Jay
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Everything Old is New Again?
"New" ideas spark memories of when they actually were new!
Perhaps you've seen announcements of the expansion of the “Gas Station TV” network. Not content with screens displaying full-motion video and audio to consumers while they are actively making a purchase (I wonder where they got that idea, don't you?!!), there will now be screens placed inside the stations in the “convenience” store portion of said edifices.
Growing up, my sister always wanted to work in a gas station. Not because she loved cars or because she was a gearhead – she loved the smell of gasoline. (I understand that gasoline fumes can cause brain damage, but I also wonder if brain damage seeks out those fumes!) At any rate, most people don't – pace Robert Duvall – love that smell, whether in the morning or any other time of day, so one wonders whether adding this olfactory experience to a commercial message will turn out to be helpful or harmful.
Our guess, here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC (as if one could reasonably characterize our data-driven marketing forecasts as guesses!), is that it will prove to be a net drag on the utility of this video distribution platform.
This development led me, this past week, into a bit of a reminiscence about the painstaking development of our own full-motion capable, Wi-Fi-enabled, beverage vending machines, equipped with CoollMisstTM technology. Long-time readers of this newsletter will certainly recall the various stages through which this product line has gone, what with the addition of the Wi-Fi capability (giving marketers the ability to change creative "on the fly" in near real-time, as it were.
Then, the CoollMisstTM technology was added, giving the consumer an extra sensory experience - although in this case, it was a welcome one!
The long list of participants in both market tests, research projects, and actual roll-outs of working prototypes gives mute testimony to the power of adding the sense of touch to the sight, sound, and motion already inherent in the product. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC hope that those of us who "know better" won't be fooled into adding a negative olfactory experience to what ought to be a simple message delivery.
Clearly there are many better (and less smelly!) ways to get one's message to the consumer, wherever he (or she!) may be found.
Excelsior!
Jay
Last week, Jay wrote about getting back in the saddle, only to find he'd been presumed dead:
Ronald Geary responded:
"Jay, it's fabulous that you're not actually dead. It certainly took the wind out of our sails here at the Cape when we heard you'd been killed. It was a bleak birthday celebration back in September without your "salutation" from the Rolodex ..."
Ron, you've made me very happy to know that our birthday missives are appreciated. Hearing my own eulogies, as it were, has been an eye-opening experience - but I'm still mad at Pat!
-- Jay
Perhaps you've seen announcements of the expansion of the “Gas Station TV” network. Not content with screens displaying full-motion video and audio to consumers while they are actively making a purchase (I wonder where they got that idea, don't you?!!), there will now be screens placed inside the stations in the “convenience” store portion of said edifices.
Growing up, my sister always wanted to work in a gas station. Not because she loved cars or because she was a gearhead – she loved the smell of gasoline. (I understand that gasoline fumes can cause brain damage, but I also wonder if brain damage seeks out those fumes!) At any rate, most people don't – pace Robert Duvall – love that smell, whether in the morning or any other time of day, so one wonders whether adding this olfactory experience to a commercial message will turn out to be helpful or harmful.
Our guess, here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC (as if one could reasonably characterize our data-driven marketing forecasts as guesses!), is that it will prove to be a net drag on the utility of this video distribution platform.
This development led me, this past week, into a bit of a reminiscence about the painstaking development of our own full-motion capable, Wi-Fi-enabled, beverage vending machines, equipped with CoollMisstTM technology. Long-time readers of this newsletter will certainly recall the various stages through which this product line has gone, what with the addition of the Wi-Fi capability (giving marketers the ability to change creative "on the fly" in near real-time, as it were.
Then, the CoollMisstTM technology was added, giving the consumer an extra sensory experience - although in this case, it was a welcome one!
The long list of participants in both market tests, research projects, and actual roll-outs of working prototypes gives mute testimony to the power of adding the sense of touch to the sight, sound, and motion already inherent in the product. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC hope that those of us who "know better" won't be fooled into adding a negative olfactory experience to what ought to be a simple message delivery.
Clearly there are many better (and less smelly!) ways to get one's message to the consumer, wherever he (or she!) may be found.
Excelsior!
Jay
Last week, Jay wrote about getting back in the saddle, only to find he'd been presumed dead:
Ronald Geary responded:
"Jay, it's fabulous that you're not actually dead. It certainly took the wind out of our sails here at the Cape when we heard you'd been killed. It was a bleak birthday celebration back in September without your "salutation" from the Rolodex ..."
Ron, you've made me very happy to know that our birthday missives are appreciated. Hearing my own eulogies, as it were, has been an eye-opening experience - but I'm still mad at Pat!
-- Jay
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Reports of my Demise, and all that Jazz
Who knew Mark Twain was prescient?
First things first. Please allow me to apologize to all my regular readers, correspondents, and personal acquaintances.
In my absence (to be explained momentarily), my now-ex-partner, Pat Mullins, decided to test a rather bizarre (some might think "outré" a more appropriate term - and count me among them!) marketing theory on you.
Pat apparently theorized that if our customers thought I had been killed, they would be likely to book additional business, or at least to pay old, outstanding invoices (all of our invoices are outstanding - just as are the jobs we do for each one of our clients!). To my surprise (and chagrin, I might add), Pat's theory proved - at least partly - correct.
With the exception of one (1) "hold-out" [no names here, but you know who you are ....], all of our past-due invoices were cleared, and revenue rose a quite-healthy 13.7% (on a Seasonally Adjusted Annual Basis, of course).
Still, Pat's been sacked.
I don't know how to put it more bluntly, or I would have done so.
Pat's been sacked.
As with most effective deceptions (or "lies," as I prefer to think of this, Pat's final outrage), Pat's ploy began with a kernel of truth (or fact), but spun rapidly away from the "straight" and true (if you'll pardon the expression).
I was, indeed, in training for competition in the Modern Pent-athlon, assisted by my new partner, Jody - against whom no charges have been (nor could be!) filed, as I was neither killed, nor even injured during said training. In fact, I was part of a reality series (which was produced and shot "on spec" as a promotional opportunity to link up with the upcoming Olympic Games® in Beijing (the Istanbul of China - I still think of them as Peking and Constantinople, don't you?).
As with all such programs, a very severe media and personal communications "black-out" was in force, with Pat naturally being my sole designated correspondee (in retrospect, it seems so obvious - but I mustn't obsess, hindsight is always 20/20 they say, how could I have been so blind? - but I mustn't obsess).
With a bit of luck and marketing acumen (to whom might we turn for that, one wonders ... ha!), this series should be gracing your local Ion or MyNetwork television affiliate station in time for the "Games."
At any rate, it should be clear by now that I am not dead, nor gone, nor (dare I hope?) forgotten. I look forward to re-establishing the cordial, professional relationships most of you have enjoyed with us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC over these past several years.
For now, however, I believe I'll return to practicing my shooting and fencing; after all, one never knows into whom one may run - one simply never knows.
Last time, Pat wrote about
Jay's having been killed in a freak Pent-athlon accident:
Steve Babcock, responded:
"I'm sure there was no intent to upset us, but reading of Jay's death in a newsletter just about did me in too.
Pat, I'm hoping everyone there is OK, and I hope this doesn't sound too unfeeling, but will this affect any of the research and marketing projects you're doing for us? We don't have a lot of resources out here in Bozeman, MT, so we'd hate to lose you ..."
Steve -
Thanks for the concern, but as you can tell from the reports you should have received by now, we're still happily in the business of helping our far-flung friends in the pursuit of marketing excellence!
-- Jay
First things first. Please allow me to apologize to all my regular readers, correspondents, and personal acquaintances.
In my absence (to be explained momentarily), my now-ex-partner, Pat Mullins, decided to test a rather bizarre (some might think "outré" a more appropriate term - and count me among them!) marketing theory on you.
Pat apparently theorized that if our customers thought I had been killed, they would be likely to book additional business, or at least to pay old, outstanding invoices (all of our invoices are outstanding - just as are the jobs we do for each one of our clients!). To my surprise (and chagrin, I might add), Pat's theory proved - at least partly - correct.
With the exception of one (1) "hold-out" [no names here, but you know who you are ....], all of our past-due invoices were cleared, and revenue rose a quite-healthy 13.7% (on a Seasonally Adjusted Annual Basis, of course).
Still, Pat's been sacked.
I don't know how to put it more bluntly, or I would have done so.
Pat's been sacked.
As with most effective deceptions (or "lies," as I prefer to think of this, Pat's final outrage), Pat's ploy began with a kernel of truth (or fact), but spun rapidly away from the "straight" and true (if you'll pardon the expression).
I was, indeed, in training for competition in the Modern Pent-athlon, assisted by my new partner, Jody - against whom no charges have been (nor could be!) filed, as I was neither killed, nor even injured during said training. In fact, I was part of a reality series (which was produced and shot "on spec" as a promotional opportunity to link up with the upcoming Olympic Games® in Beijing (the Istanbul of China - I still think of them as Peking and Constantinople, don't you?).
As with all such programs, a very severe media and personal communications "black-out" was in force, with Pat naturally being my sole designated correspondee (in retrospect, it seems so obvious - but I mustn't obsess, hindsight is always 20/20 they say, how could I have been so blind? - but I mustn't obsess).
With a bit of luck and marketing acumen (to whom might we turn for that, one wonders ... ha!), this series should be gracing your local Ion or MyNetwork television affiliate station in time for the "Games."
At any rate, it should be clear by now that I am not dead, nor gone, nor (dare I hope?) forgotten. I look forward to re-establishing the cordial, professional relationships most of you have enjoyed with us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC over these past several years.
For now, however, I believe I'll return to practicing my shooting and fencing; after all, one never knows into whom one may run - one simply never knows.
Last time, Pat wrote about
Jay's having been killed in a freak Pent-athlon accident:
Steve Babcock, responded:
"I'm sure there was no intent to upset us, but reading of Jay's death in a newsletter just about did me in too.
Pat, I'm hoping everyone there is OK, and I hope this doesn't sound too unfeeling, but will this affect any of the research and marketing projects you're doing for us? We don't have a lot of resources out here in Bozeman, MT, so we'd hate to lose you ..."
Steve -
Thanks for the concern, but as you can tell from the reports you should have received by now, we're still happily in the business of helping our far-flung friends in the pursuit of marketing excellence!
-- Jay
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sad News
This is Jay's partner, Pat. (Yes, I really do exist.) I am writing to all those in Jay's electronic "Rolodex®" and on his "internet blog" to inform you that Jay has perished in a tragic accident.
Jay had decided to add to his already legendary athletic achievements in the bi-athlon by branching out into the "modern" pent-athlon. What with his rock-hard abs, steady hand, and practiced eye, the shooting, riding, running, swimming, and fencing involved in the modern pent-athlon seemed a sure bet.
Even allowing for his somewhat rusty equestrian skills, that assessment was right on the money, through the first four (4) of the five (5) events. Sadly, his wrist seemed ill-suited to fencing, and he was killed in a freak rapier accident by his "sparring" partner, Jody. Jody is holding up better than we expected - better than the police expected as well, leading to Jody's being taken in for further "questioning" by the authorities.
Jay is gone, but not yet forgotten, and long may he wave, although we're all at half mast here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. Please remember to pay any outstanding invoices promptly so we can close our books and move on to the next chapter in our various and assorted lives.
Memorial contributions may be made to the Sir Charles Guinness Deficit Society.
As Jay would have said:
Excelsior!
Pat Mullins,
Jay had decided to add to his already legendary athletic achievements in the bi-athlon by branching out into the "modern" pent-athlon. What with his rock-hard abs, steady hand, and practiced eye, the shooting, riding, running, swimming, and fencing involved in the modern pent-athlon seemed a sure bet.
Even allowing for his somewhat rusty equestrian skills, that assessment was right on the money, through the first four (4) of the five (5) events. Sadly, his wrist seemed ill-suited to fencing, and he was killed in a freak rapier accident by his "sparring" partner, Jody. Jody is holding up better than we expected - better than the police expected as well, leading to Jody's being taken in for further "questioning" by the authorities.
Jay is gone, but not yet forgotten, and long may he wave, although we're all at half mast here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. Please remember to pay any outstanding invoices promptly so we can close our books and move on to the next chapter in our various and assorted lives.
Memorial contributions may be made to the Sir Charles Guinness Deficit Society.
As Jay would have said:
Excelsior!
Pat Mullins,
Jay Standish, Inc. LLC
RIP
Friday, April 27, 2007
Moving Beyond Metrics
No, I don't mean kilometers and kilograms, I mean CPC, ROI, CPM, and other TLAs
We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are pleased to announce that we are in the planning stages of a nationwide tour, presenting our latest marketing "seminar" or "course" which is entitled "The Next Wave - Moving Beyond Metrics: a Short Course in What Really Matters in Marketing, and How to Say it Briefly, Clearly, Succinctly, and without Unnecessary Redundancy."
Among the stops currently anticipated are Palo Alto, Dallas, Casper, Atlanta, Cincinnati (P&G, here we come!), Detroit, and Camden. We expect to finalize our deal with probable national sponsor, Red Roof Inn Systems® very soon. Once that deal is "inked" (and before the ink is even dry, if I have anything to say about it - and believe me, I do!) we'll announce the specific venues in each city - including a run-down of which Inns sport the new free "Wi-Fi" service, and which of them have pools (many now do!).
Again, plans are still in the making, but we anticipate providing a complimentary continental breakfast and coffee bar for those of you who need that carbohydrate and caffeine boost in the morning, courtesy (we hope!) of our soon-to-be-approached potential sponsor, Publix® markets.
Of course, we wouldn't want to hold out a mere "teaser" to you on this without giving at least a flavor of what's likely to be included in the planned presentation, thus:
How many of you are struggling with mounting demands from "management" to give better metrics of the ROI of your marketing efforts? (hands down now, thank you) We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend to think this is analogous to the "Carpenter Quandary" - to wit: to the man (or woman!) with only a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Similarly, with today's readily available "lower funnel" measurements (sorry for the technical terms!), every marketing problem looks like a sales problem. How, one wonders, can one measure a branding campaign with a direct mail metric? How indeed? One simply cannot - hence this presentation and Magical Marketing Tour: Moving Beyond Metrics: or How I Learned to Stop Measuring Click-Through Rates and Love Gross Impressions.
Magical? You know it, brother (or sister!) - after all, you said you wanted a Revolution!
Readers of this newsletter will certainly get an advance official notice of and invitation to the event, once the details and dates are finalized and "hammered out" to our satisfaction (pun mostly intended).
Be on the lookout for that Candy Apple Red Luxury Executive Motorcoach with the giant magnetic "Jay Standish - Beyond Metrics" sign on the side (courtesy of our friend Harvey Glendinning at Pip Printing!) carrying a veritable "SWAT Team" of marketing mavens from Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. That's right - for the first time, I'll be bringing some of my associates along - perhaps Pat will be available for a trip (at last!), but rest assured, we're coming! and to a town near you!
Last week, Jay wrote about interplanetary trash disposal:
Raoul Floyd responded:
"Jay, your whole idea of making space launches seem "green" by using them to dispose of dangerous waste seems totally ludicrous. That seems as likely as trying to seem green by paying someone who pollutes less to balance out one's own emissions. Buying "carbon credits" from folks who otherwise wouldn't use them to allow for high-energy homes and large vehicles would be totally unethical .... Oh, never mind."
"Never mind" is right, Raoul, right indeed.
-- Jay
We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are pleased to announce that we are in the planning stages of a nationwide tour, presenting our latest marketing "seminar" or "course" which is entitled "The Next Wave - Moving Beyond Metrics: a Short Course in What Really Matters in Marketing, and How to Say it Briefly, Clearly, Succinctly, and without Unnecessary Redundancy."
Among the stops currently anticipated are Palo Alto, Dallas, Casper, Atlanta, Cincinnati (P&G, here we come!), Detroit, and Camden. We expect to finalize our deal with probable national sponsor, Red Roof Inn Systems® very soon. Once that deal is "inked" (and before the ink is even dry, if I have anything to say about it - and believe me, I do!) we'll announce the specific venues in each city - including a run-down of which Inns sport the new free "Wi-Fi" service, and which of them have pools (many now do!).
Again, plans are still in the making, but we anticipate providing a complimentary continental breakfast and coffee bar for those of you who need that carbohydrate and caffeine boost in the morning, courtesy (we hope!) of our soon-to-be-approached potential sponsor, Publix® markets.
Of course, we wouldn't want to hold out a mere "teaser" to you on this without giving at least a flavor of what's likely to be included in the planned presentation, thus:
How many of you are struggling with mounting demands from "management" to give better metrics of the ROI of your marketing efforts? (hands down now, thank you) We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC tend to think this is analogous to the "Carpenter Quandary" - to wit: to the man (or woman!) with only a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Similarly, with today's readily available "lower funnel" measurements (sorry for the technical terms!), every marketing problem looks like a sales problem. How, one wonders, can one measure a branding campaign with a direct mail metric? How indeed? One simply cannot - hence this presentation and Magical Marketing Tour: Moving Beyond Metrics: or How I Learned to Stop Measuring Click-Through Rates and Love Gross Impressions.
Magical? You know it, brother (or sister!) - after all, you said you wanted a Revolution!
Readers of this newsletter will certainly get an advance official notice of and invitation to the event, once the details and dates are finalized and "hammered out" to our satisfaction (pun mostly intended).
Be on the lookout for that Candy Apple Red Luxury Executive Motorcoach with the giant magnetic "Jay Standish - Beyond Metrics" sign on the side (courtesy of our friend Harvey Glendinning at Pip Printing!) carrying a veritable "SWAT Team" of marketing mavens from Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. That's right - for the first time, I'll be bringing some of my associates along - perhaps Pat will be available for a trip (at last!), but rest assured, we're coming! and to a town near you!
Last week, Jay wrote about interplanetary trash disposal:
Raoul Floyd responded:
"Jay, your whole idea of making space launches seem "green" by using them to dispose of dangerous waste seems totally ludicrous. That seems as likely as trying to seem green by paying someone who pollutes less to balance out one's own emissions. Buying "carbon credits" from folks who otherwise wouldn't use them to allow for high-energy homes and large vehicles would be totally unethical .... Oh, never mind."
"Never mind" is right, Raoul, right indeed.
-- Jay
Friday, April 20, 2007
Mother Nature Taking Over?
Is your marketing aligned with the seismic shift in consumer attitudes?
Who would have thought Home Depot® would be leading the way? Who indeed? Still, it comes as no surprise that there would be a savvy marketer ready to capitalize on the current greening of the world, does it?
Regular readers of this newsletter know that we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are nothing if not savvy, and with our commitment to various "out-of-doors" activities (including bi-athlon and rock racing!) we are also committed to maintaining an environment around us.
Lest the reader think this is nothing but pre-Earth Day pandering to the masses of environmental lobbyists, crack-pots, and ne'er do wells. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have put our collective money where my mouth is - so to speak! - and are working on making the space flights mentioned in last week's newsletter something more than a marketing boon-doggle. Indeed, Lee (from our R&D group) is hard at work (as are we all!) calculating the relative costs and benefits of carrying toxic and other forms of difficult-to-dispose-of wastes on these space flights - with the proposition being that said waste be dumped, not on the Earth, but rather tossed into decaying orbits around the Moon or (perhaps too ambitiously) the Sun itself.
Imagine, if you will, a next-generation Space Shuttle - in full NASA regalia - bedecked NASCAR-like with logos of sponsoring entities (perhaps your product? your clients' product?) along with a payload, also logo-bedecked, of dangerous waste products, bound for extra-Terrestrial disposal. Who might be interested in such a scheme? How about Waste Management®? How about the InSinkErator® folks? How about just about anyone wishing to make a statement that we know better than to mess up our own house? As they say, animals don't defecate where they habitate (a catchy rendition or that sentiment, don't you think?) - neither should people.
What marketer wants to be known as one who poisons his (or her!) own customers? We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe the answer is clear and unambiguous: nobody we know!
Once Lee's work (along with the fabulous Jay Standish, Inc. LLC R&D staff) is done, we will be shopping around the first potential sponsorships of this concept. We're still working on names for this service, and we'd appreciate feed-back from our readers on these possibilities, as well as any suggestions you might care to make. Imagine seeing your own neo-logism boldly pasted on a proud (American!) spacecraft as it quivers with excitement on the launch pad in Florida, waiting for the thrust to send it hurtling into space - perhaps into Trans-Lunar Injection!
At any rate, our first list of rough possibilities await your comments:
Last week, Jay wrote about "sponsored" space flights:
Rebecca Darmus responded:
"Jay, I understand how you and your testosterone- fueled friends might find space flight exciting - I've seen the shape of rockets, and I know what that's all about. Still, don't you find it a bit out-of-touch to be suggesting that we pay to put tons of pollutants into the atmosphere? Where's the concern for the environment? Where's the love? ..."
Rebecca, I think we all know where you're coming from, and I (for one!) subtly resent your testosterone remark. None the less, I think you're on to something with your talk of mountain greenery and such. See my comments above!
-- Jay
Is your marketing aligned with the seismic shift in consumer attitudes?
Who would have thought Home Depot® would be leading the way? Who indeed? Still, it comes as no surprise that there would be a savvy marketer ready to capitalize on the current greening of the world, does it?
Regular readers of this newsletter know that we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are nothing if not savvy, and with our commitment to various "out-of-doors" activities (including bi-athlon and rock racing!) we are also committed to maintaining an environment around us.
Lest the reader think this is nothing but pre-Earth Day pandering to the masses of environmental lobbyists, crack-pots, and ne'er do wells. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have put our collective money where my mouth is - so to speak! - and are working on making the space flights mentioned in last week's newsletter something more than a marketing boon-doggle. Indeed, Lee (from our R&D group) is hard at work (as are we all!) calculating the relative costs and benefits of carrying toxic and other forms of difficult-to-dispose-of wastes on these space flights - with the proposition being that said waste be dumped, not on the Earth, but rather tossed into decaying orbits around the Moon or (perhaps too ambitiously) the Sun itself.
Imagine, if you will, a next-generation Space Shuttle - in full NASA regalia - bedecked NASCAR-like with logos of sponsoring entities (perhaps your product? your clients' product?) along with a payload, also logo-bedecked, of dangerous waste products, bound for extra-Terrestrial disposal. Who might be interested in such a scheme? How about Waste Management®? How about the InSinkErator® folks? How about just about anyone wishing to make a statement that we know better than to mess up our own house? As they say, animals don't defecate where they habitate (a catchy rendition or that sentiment, don't you think?) - neither should people.
What marketer wants to be known as one who poisons his (or her!) own customers? We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe the answer is clear and unambiguous: nobody we know!
Once Lee's work (along with the fabulous Jay Standish, Inc. LLC R&D staff) is done, we will be shopping around the first potential sponsorships of this concept. We're still working on names for this service, and we'd appreciate feed-back from our readers on these possibilities, as well as any suggestions you might care to make. Imagine seeing your own neo-logism boldly pasted on a proud (American!) spacecraft as it quivers with excitement on the launch pad in Florida, waiting for the thrust to send it hurtling into space - perhaps into Trans-Lunar Injection!
At any rate, our first list of rough possibilities await your comments:
- Star Trash
- Garbage to the Stars
- Wasted Space
- Take Out The Trash - Way Out!
- Ad Astra Per Trashpera
Last week, Jay wrote about "sponsored" space flights:
Rebecca Darmus responded:
"Jay, I understand how you and your testosterone- fueled friends might find space flight exciting - I've seen the shape of rockets, and I know what that's all about. Still, don't you find it a bit out-of-touch to be suggesting that we pay to put tons of pollutants into the atmosphere? Where's the concern for the environment? Where's the love? ..."
Rebecca, I think we all know where you're coming from, and I (for one!) subtly resent your testosterone remark. None the less, I think you're on to something with your talk of mountain greenery and such. See my comments above!
-- Jay
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