A Rare Moment, Indeed

It is with a fair amount of humility that I confess I was completely and abjectly wrong in my prognositication regarding the finalé of Dancing With The Stars. You likely caught my commentary and predictions in the comments to the previous post regarding the departure of our wooden cowboy friend from the competition.
A Mr. Bruce Campbell (surely not the Bruce Campbell?) asked for my thoughts, and I was more than happy to provide them. Sadly, I now must eat the proverbial crow.

My presumptive ordering was exactly the inverse of the final results. Thrilling though the dancing was, the "fans" who made the final determination seemed to enjoy the girlish antics of our erstwhile Olympic sweetheart far more than did I. (I would like to emphasize that in predicting the reverse order of finish, I did - in fact! - get the second-place finisher exactly right!)

My prediction had been that Melissa would win, followed by Gilles, with Shawn taking the bronze [as it were!]. My preference would have been to reverse those top two, placing Gilles in first place and Melissa second. But it was not to be.
Confounding my expectations, Melissa was the first one called out - as the third-place finisher. Next came the obligatory tension-building session of commentary from the delightful Tom Bergeron and the nearly-delicious Samantha Harris. And build tension it did.

Imagine my surprise (and no small measure of chagrin - no small measure at all!) when Shawn's name was called as the new champion. Another victory for the Olympians among us (as if they needed more), and a strong commentary that this nation no longer abhors short people [Randy Newman notwithstanding].

Ah well, on to the next season. Now let the speculation begin: will there be another computer industry "star" in the mix? How about a marketing professional? It's already got me tingling like Chris Matthews at an Obama speech!

Excelsior!

Home At Last!

And Jay Standish Inc. LLC becomes a veritable "Make A Wish" for a "Reader"

“At last!” I hear you cry, “At last Jay has returned and has issued another “newsletter” to help us better to serve our clients. Huzzah!” Well, perhaps I exaggerate a bit – perhaps a bit. At any rate, it is with no small amount of joy and gratitude that I type these words back here in these United States.

I don't want to make this newsletter any longer than necessary by reciting the story of how I came to be so long delayed – the full tale must await another issue. Suffice it to say that the “authorities” in Red China (yes indeed – they had this marketer seeing red!) did not look kindly on non-registered athletes arriving at their Olympic Games^TM, epée on hip. No, not kindly at all. Detaining me at the airport for days seemed to be nothing less than a pleasure to these “officials” who deemed me a threat to society – all the while ignoring the other travelers who were gleefully snapping photographs with their iPhones® and happily emailing them – and countless blog entries – back to civilization. Tell me (if you can!) which of us was more of a threat to the Chinese Way of Life (I believe the call is the Tao of Poo or something of that sort).

Needless to say, I eventually was allowed to return home, having missed not only the entire Olympic Games^TM, but also the entire Special Olympics® as well. Perturbed, but in no wise chastened (!), I was at last able to return to my office here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC and attempt to pick up my communications threads and my life.

Imagine, if you will, the amount of email correspondence awaiting my attention upon my return from Peking. Sadly (and many of you may have already anticipated this!) only a very small percentage of that volume was actual, useful correspondence. The vast preponderance was notifications, invitations, and updates from my "friends" in various "social" networks.
I have become convinced that SNA (Social Networking Abuse) is a major threat to the productivity of the American Economy. Think of the hours you have spent opening and deleting copies of the latest mass email (countless copies of which have been forwarded to you by countless contacts!) proclaiming the "Nearest Approach of Jupiter to Earth in Nearly a Month!" or "Missing Child Found Eating Own Foot to Survive in Densely-Wooded Valley" or "Russian Women Want to be Your Wives" or any of a number of such missives and pitches. Clearly something must be done or we'll find ourselves unable to sift the “wheat” from the virtual chaff.

Enough of this “belly-aching” for the nonce – we will (most likely!) revisit this topic in a future newsletter, attempting to draw some marketing inferences from the sad state of the current social networking landscape. “Heart-warming” sounds so much better than “belly-aching” and it was just such a gem that I found amidst all the other offers, updates, and come-ons in my “in-box” upon my return. Let me share it with you:

Many of you, my long-term subscribers and readers, will no doubt remember the tale of our first (and only so far!) Marketing Paladin; viz. that his goal in life is to front a punk band. You will further recall, I trust, that I had put “Joe” in touch with Morgan and Shannon of the (sadly) now-defunct Celtic Punk band, Left Sister Down. Little did I know then, that said introduction would lead to one of those School of Rock© moments until Morgan passed on to me the picture embedded below in an email.

Apparently, “Joe” was in the area when Left Sister Down's final “gig” (that's what they call these jobs – I'm not making this up!) was announced. He put “two” and “two" together and got “for your last gig, wouldn't you like a guest vocalist on a tune or so?” And, in fact, they did! “Joe” was ecstatic, nearly needless to say, and Left Sister Down made it a memorable night for all involved.

Media reports, sketchy though they were, indicate that “Joe” made a somewhat creditable performance on two “covers” - “I Want To Be Your Dog” by Ignaz Popp and the Stooges, and “I Want to Riot” by Rancid. One critic noted,

“[“Joe”] seemed a bit ill-at-ease with the lyrics at first, but once the band found a groove to fit his, he sounded somewhat better. On the next tune - “I Wanna [sic!] Be Your Dog” - [“Joe”] really hit his stride, sounding angry, mournful, and canine all at once. In sum, not bad for an over-the-hill never-was, and it was nice of Left Sister Down to share their final spotlight with [“Joe”] - we might have witnessed the beginning of the Geezer Punk Revival there that night.”

As previously noted, the photograph above was supplied to me by Morgan, and depicts the members of Left Sister Down, along with sound-people, roadies, hangers-on, and (at the far right!) our friend “Joe” after the “gig” had ended and the “crowd” had dispersed.

We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are proud to have been able to be a part of fulfilling the dreams of one of our colleagues – well done, “Joe,” well done indeed!

Excelsior!

Jay Standish,

Jay Standish, Inc. LLC

Last time, Jay wrote about his produced but not sold reality series:
Henry Weed responded:
"That's one of the big problems with independently produced programs - you never know if there's really an outlet for what you're making...."

Thanks for your comments, Henry (may I call you Hank?), but it's not so much that there was no outlet, but rather that I was hood-winked out of the time needed to assure placement of this spectacular on the proper outlet by my former partner, Pat (who's been sacked!).

Excelsior anyway!
-- Jay

Reports of my Demise, and all that Jazz

Who knew Mark Twain was prescient?

First things first. Please allow me to apologize to all my regular readers, correspondents, and personal acquaintances.

In my absence (to be explained momentarily), my now-ex-partner, Pat Mullins, decided to test a rather bizarre (some might think "outré" a more appropriate term - and count me among them!) marketing theory on you.

Pat apparently theorized that if our customers thought I had been killed, they would be likely to book additional business, or at least to pay old, outstanding invoices (all of our invoices are outstanding - just as are the jobs we do for each one of our clients!). To my surprise (and chagrin, I might add), Pat's theory proved - at least partly - correct.

With the exception of one (1) "hold-out" [no names here, but you know who you are ....], all of our past-due invoices were cleared, and revenue rose a quite-healthy 13.7% (on a Seasonally Adjusted Annual Basis, of course).

Still, Pat's been sacked.

I don't know how to put it more bluntly, or I would have done so.
Pat's been sacked.

As with most effective deceptions (or "lies," as I prefer to think of this, Pat's final outrage), Pat's ploy began with a kernel of truth (or fact), but spun rapidly away from the "straight" and true (if you'll pardon the expression).

I was, indeed, in training for competition in the Modern Pent-athlon, assisted by my new partner, Jody - against whom no charges have been (nor could be!) filed, as I was neither killed, nor even injured during said training. In fact, I was part of a reality series (which was produced and shot "on spec" as a promotional opportunity to link up with the upcoming Olympic Games® in Beijing (the Istanbul of China - I still think of them as Peking and Constantinople, don't you?).
As with all such programs, a very severe media and personal communications "black-out" was in force, with Pat naturally being my sole designated correspondee (in retrospect, it seems so obvious - but I mustn't obsess, hindsight is always 20/20 they say, how could I have been so blind? - but I mustn't obsess).

With a bit of luck and marketing acumen (to whom might we turn for that, one wonders ... ha!), this series should be gracing your local Ion or MyNetwork television affiliate station in time for the "Games."

At any rate, it should be clear by now that I am not dead, nor gone, nor (dare I hope?) forgotten. I look forward to re-establishing the cordial, professional relationships most of you have enjoyed with us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC over these past several years.

For now, however, I believe I'll return to practicing my shooting and fencing; after all, one never knows into whom one may run - one simply never knows.


Last time, Pat wrote about
Jay's having been killed in a freak Pent-athlon accident:
Steve Babcock, responded:
"I'm sure there was no intent to upset us, but reading of Jay's death in a newsletter just about did me in too.
Pat, I'm hoping everyone there is OK, and I hope this doesn't sound too unfeeling, but will this affect any of the research and marketing projects you're doing for us? We don't have a lot of resources out here in Bozeman, MT, so we'd hate to lose you ..."

Steve -
Thanks for the concern, but as you can tell from the reports you should have received by now, we're still happily in the business of helping our far-flung friends in the pursuit of marketing excellence!
-- Jay