Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I think we're all Bezos on this bus

And no, I don't mean that hulk of a man, Jerome Bettis when I say bus.

I recently came across an old quote from the Amazon guy, Jeff Bezos. He said that "anything worth doing is worth doing badly," or words to that effect. I suppose the idea is that one is better off getting started and going back to fix things than to wait until everything is in order and then finding out that someone else has beaten one to the proverbial punch.
In the heady days of the dot com false alarm, that must have seemed like awfully good advice. In fact, given the situation, what with Amazon boxes featured in nearly every trash pickup across these United States, it may well have been exactly what it seemed. However, now that irrational exuberance has been nipped in the bud, and the closest thing to it we see on the horizon is Web 2.0, it seems that it might be time for one to actually do something well!

As everyone seems to know, in order to do well on an internet search, one's paid search text ad should be fewer than 15 words, but more than 13 words. That works out to about 14 words of plain text to get across a "unique selling proposition" or "unique product benefit" on a page awash with text and "graphic" elements. Sounds difficult to me.
Get my message across in fourteen words? How about fourteen scenes? That's right, in a full-motion, full-audio mini-theatrical presentation of fourteen scenes (lasting approximately 30 to 32 seconds) an enterprising marketer can certainly reveal the wonders of his (or her!) brand to the interested viewer.

Imagine, as you no doubt already are, the benefits of sight, sound, and motion all on the screen of a full-motion capable beverage vending machine. A customer walks up - to make a purchase! - deposits cash - to make a purchase! - and receives his (or her!) beverage. But wait - where do the fourteen scenes come in? Right here, gentle reader, right here.
By way of engaging the customer(!), the advertiser offers to pay the deposit on the beverage container (ranging from $.05 right on up, depending on locale!) in exchange for the viewing of the mini-theatrical presentation (actually, a form of a commercial!). While the film rolls, the customer is assured that his (or her!) beverage is being cleaned, sanitized, and blast-chilled for his (or her!) added enjoyment.
That's right - we offer to pay the deposit on the beverage container in exchange for viewing a commercial. Just imagine if all marketing transactions were so transparent; consumers would no longer balk at commercial messages, as they would understand that the media (and beverage containers!) they enjoy so much are being under-written by the providers of commercials.
We at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe that this new open-ness will lead to a virtual perestroika of purchases, yea, a veritable glasnost of gelt, from which the noble American Consumer will never willingly depart.


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