Now for a Tasty Treat!

Magazines are barking up a dead tree -

but it's almost the right tree!

"Marketers Salivate Over Lickable Ads," and "Magazines Try Out Tasty Strategy" the headlines virtually screamed. And over what? simply the next step up from scent strips and scented ink and such: lickable taste strips pasted on the page.

In this case, the furore is over an ad for the Welch's Grape folks (ah, and how many of us still recall that precious cave-moppet, Pebbles Flintstone, asking for her "woo woo gay goo" each week?) granting the brave reader a chance to lick a strip which purportedly tastes like the legendary beverage itself. Quite an interesting proposition.


As scientific research has established, 87.4% of our experience of taste is actually accomplished through the sense of smell (olfactory, my dear Watson!). This means that the grape growers might have been better off providing consumers with a less potentially-unsanitary experience (what if it's already been licked? and by whom? what if Pat had ... no, I mustn't obsess ....) by providing scent-strips, or even Scratch 'n' Sniff® panels in the ads. Still, that's nothing new, and a goodly part of this campaign is its novelty - if only for the PR value.


Back, for a moment, to the scientific research. Recent studies tend to confirm the idea that most people hold their reading matter somewhat farther away than the tip of their noses (or, for that matter, their tongues!), rendering what was to have been a multi-sensory experience into a sequence of senses instead.


How, then, to rectify this situation; how, then, indeed? We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC are nothing if not line-extension fiends: thus, a new "riff" or "variation" on our CoollMisst^TM technology - Scentliminal Odor-ama^SM!

"Brilliant!" I hear you gasp, and brilliant it is. Imagine, if you will, a full-motion video capable beverage vending machine. As the consumer ponders which of the speed-chilled beverages to purchase, he (or she!) is treated to a brief video "vignette" showing a young child asking a young mother (perhaps portrayed by the delicious Parker Posey) for a drink. "Mom," as she is here known, opens the Kenmore® refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of Welch's Concord Grape Juice. As she opens the lid (or cap), the Scentliminal Odor-ama^SM scent organ pumps out a puff of Concord Grape vapeur-de-juice, causing the consumers mouth to water (reflexively!) and to pull the Welch's Grape Soda lever (or push the button, of course, depending on the specific model). Brilliant isn't the half of it.


This, likely, puts one in mind of the constant harping of chef Emeril Lagasse (it's sad, really, how the man has let himself go these days, don't you think?) in regard to the sad state of our cable television infrastructure: "we can put a man on the moon, but we can't get smell-o-vision in our homes," he gripes - or words to that effect. In fact, he is correct. This is yet another area where our place-based video offerings have far outflanked the traditional television systems - including the nascent TV over IP (or internet-based television). By having control over our screens, we can offer an ideal experience, each and every time. Not even the new HD (or High-quality Depiction) televisions can offer more than two senses at a time (viz - sight and sound).


On a somewhat-unrelated note, you may have noticed that the brand of refrigerator was mentioned in the Parker Posey vignette description above. As many of you no doubt know, Sears (along with her sibling brand K-Mart!) is locked in a struggle with the economy, the likes of which hasn't been seen for more than two decades. What with the constant news of the housing problems and the mortgage woes besmirching the names of all and sundry marketers and financial entities, it seemed only appropriate to pull out a snippet from an earlier newsletter. Consider this a bit of "Classic Jay" if you will. Keep in mind that this comes from our newsletter of March 22, 2007 - nearly a year ago! - as you read what may prove to be a prophetic offer of help to two sadly struggling industries:

"Jay," I hear you cry, "tell us how this all results in an opportunity, rather than in cause for macro-economic doom-and-gloomery!" And so I shall.

Imagine the plight of the typical new homeowner: he's (or she's!) in over his (or her!) head, financially speaking. What with a mortgage payment, a car payment, new appliances, and increased insurance, it would be amazing were he (or she!) not. Here's where opportunity raises its marketing head, as it were.

Keeping in mind that fiscal plight, what response might a savvy marketer at, say, Kenmore® expect if he (or she!) offered said homeowner a subsidy on the interest rate of his (or her!) mortgage? Exactly - he (or she!) would wonder about the attached strings, and rightly so.

In exchange for a half-point subsidy in the mortgage interest rate (this is for discussion purposes only, the actual level of subsidy will be determined at a future date), the homeowner agrees to purchase a certain number of Kenmore® appliances, and to accept certain marketing communications - right on the monthly mortgage statement!

Who makes out in this? Why, Everyone Involved! The homeowner is saving his (or her!) hard earned money each month, in exchange for making purchases which he (or she!) was likely to make anyway. Kenmore® has an immediate sale, and a channel of communication which should lead to a long-term loyal customer, and the mortgage company has avoided having to foreclose on another potentially unsaleable piece of real estate.

Of course, you may rest assured that similar scenarios can be (and have been!) imagined for insurance and automotive marketers.

Interested? We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC certainly expect that you are - otherwise you're simply not the savvy, forward-thinking marketing professionals that we've come to believe you to be. Let us know how we can assist you in this new venture.

While we don't claim to know the future, we do help our clients to manage it.

Last time, Jay wrote about experiential marketing and brand evangelists:

Cindy Crawford responded:
"You know, Jay, Linda's not the only smart supermodel out there. As you know, I was valedictorian of my HS class, and I could have been a chemical engineer or something, but I firmly believe that modeling is my true calling. Apple was going to name something after me too, but "Crawfish" seemed more like a code name than a ..."

Thanks for your note, Cindy (if it's really you - I find this a bit hard to believe), and there was certainly no disrespect meant to any of your sistern in the supermodel sorority. I know you're all smart and beautiful, and I love you all equally!

-- Jay

Updated: MicroHoo! ? YaSoft?

We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have had several inquiries regarding the proposed "merger" of Microsoft and Yahoo! This is all made more interesting than a simple attempted purchase of one large company by another by the return of Yahoo! co-founder Yang to the CEO position.

We've always been fans of the Yahoo! Yang Clan, so watch for him to give Steve "Monkey Dance" Ballmer the boot as soon as the merger of equals purchase has been executed.

Aren't M&Es fun - at least to watch?

Excelsior!

Update 2/14/08:
It appears that the Redmonkeys may not get their wish after all. Not only has Yahoo! turned down their offer, but now they have competition from News Corp and everyone's favorite, Rupert Murdoch. Whatever happens, count on it to be bad for Mr. Ballmer. His only chance for the fame he so obviously covets (after all, Billg is famous, and he's a nerd, right?) is to win the next season of dancing with the stars.

Excelsior!

2008, Here We Are At Last

It may have taken a few weeks, but

are we ever ready to wow you again!

First off, to those of you who've been reading the "blog" site, I'd like to make sure you hear our apologies regarding the erroneous obituary of O.D. "Slim" Whitman. Mr. Whitman is still alive (and very popular in Europe, as well as here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC!), despite the report we had received and passed on at the "blog" site. Again, our apologies to all and sundry.

It has been gratifying to carry on the conversation which is enabled by that back-and-forth medium (the internet "blog"), if only to hear from those of you who seem not to want to reply by e-mail. Thus far, we seem to have avoided most of the lunatic fringe that some other "blogs" seem to attract (apart from the fantastically-named "durwood quade" whose modus operandi appears to be name calling and political advocacy - I hadn't realized that Ru Paul was running for president this year), and for that we are quite grateful.


Now, on to the, if you will, "meat" of the newsletter: Experiential Marketing. While we promised to address packaging in a response to a comment to an earlier newsletter, as we investigated that topic, it became clear to us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC that packaging is really only the gateway, or introduction, to the full experience of a brand.

The packaging can serve to invite the consumer in (cf. those new, no-can-opener-required cans of ground coffee - while we may have an issue with the rim left on the can, we can have no issue with the ease with which our respective kitchens - or anywhere else! - can be filled with that fresh-opened-can-of-coffee aroma), or to keep him (or her!) out (viz. that flexible, clear, yet nearly impervious plastic in which all manner of products are now encased, for the cutting of which my sister bought our mother (as a Christmas gift, no less!) some of those nifty Black & Decker® electric power scissors: which were packaged in that self-same plastic - perhaps said plastic is fortified with irony!).


Still, the packaging, however good (or bad!) is but the first part of the brand experience. First steps are important, no doubt (remember - a Journey of a Thousand Miles (or Kilometers!) begins with a Single Step!), but they are only first steps. What we, as savvy marketers, really want is for our customer (or customers!) to enter fully into the brand experience; not simply to see the brand, but to be the brand. (Ah, I miss Mr. Gianopoulos, my Junior High School P.E. teacher, who taught us all (in Dodge Ball, no less!) this sure route to success: "See the ball, Be the ball;" but I digress.)

Experiential Marketing has become one of those catch-phrases, or "buzz" words which seem to have a fluid meaning - terms which can end up meaning little or nothing due to their having been attached to too many disparate concepts. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC want to caution our readers to examine any proposed Experiential Marketing programs to make sure they're not just warmed-over, re-named products from your advertising and marketing partners. In this day of user-generated content, amateur commercials on the Super Bowl®, and general disinterest and confusion, it is imperative that our marketing efforts actually be focussed on where the consumer and the brand interact - in the consumers' heads and homes and lives.

Perhaps one example from our Experiential Marketing Practice will help to clarify. Jay Standish, Inc. LLC team members Morgan and Shannon are members of the up-and-coming (you can bet on this one!) Celtic-Punk band, Left Sister Down (perhaps you've heard of their underground hit, póg mása, cadránta ceanndána buaf!). Now, clearly their fans are their consumers, and they (equally clearly!) want to enter into the "band experience" (if you'll pardon the "play" on words!), and that is exactly how the band is marketed. They offer their fans the opportunity to join them in their bus (more properly, their minivan) as they travel from "gig" to "gig" around the country. These lucky consumers are then treated to the full experience of life in a traveling Celtic-Punk ensemble, from problems finding lodging to chipping in for gas money. These folks are then used as "seed" fans at each concert "venue" to encourage the others in attendance to enjoy the music.

Apple (formerly Apple Computers) calls this kind of consumer "evangelists" (named, apparently, for Linda Evangelista, the first leggy supermodel ever to program an Apple computer using the Hypercard® program once included with each purchase), and they are, perhaps more than any other single marketing effort, responsible for the immense wealth (yet lack of couture) of Mr. Steve Jobs. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC ask you this - who wouldn't want that "gig" - especially knowing one could dress in any way one thought proper! - who indeed?

Last time, Jay wrote to send his holiday best:
Ham Hiroki responded:
"Jay, it's all very well and good that you mention the standard holidays in your note, but relegating the rest of us to a 'blessed whatever' seems a bit cavalier, even for an american..."

Ham -
Based on your note, I'm glad to see that you took no real offense at the omission of various and sundry other celebrations (most specifically your own, Shinto matsuri), and hope that you had a wonderful 大晦日 (Ōmisoka to the rest of us).

-- Jay

Further Sad News - UPDATED

A faithful reader in the Detroit area has passed on yet another sad notice. Fabulous vocalist, Ottis Dewey "Slim" Whitman has passed away at the (far too young!) age of 84.

Many of you know that I have a particular fondness for various and sundry artists, ranging from the delicious Parker Posey to the dreamy Josh Groban; but most of you probably didn't know that my first musical love is that yodelling country music exemplified by Wilf Carter (aka Montana Slim, for those of you "in the know" as it were), Ranger Doug (of the Riders in the Sky), and Ottis Dewey O.D. (an unfortunate confluence of initials, that) "Slim" Whitman.

His like may never be seen (nor heard!) again. One could only wish that he had been as popular here in his native land as he was in Europe.

RIP, "Slim." RIP indeed

Excelsior!
(Oh, Rosemarie, I lo-o-ove you!)

As noted in the comment from rosemarie (really?!) this seems to have been another instance of exaggerated reports of demise. (Would that such events never took place, eh, faithful readers?)

After doing some "digging" on the "internet" about this article, Leslie (from our Public Relations practice) tells me that it appears that there was an inadvertent release of one of those "just-in-case" obits that all news organizations have "on hand" for celebrities and the like. (Does anyone out there remember the fabulous SNL skit showing Dan Rather recording every possible post-mortem for former President Gerald Ford? Sadly (or perhaps not!) it took some of the solemnity out of the event when it really came to pass. But I digress.)
Shortly after being posted on the website of a newspaper (I'd rather not name them, as I may be able to help them with some marketing and public "relations" activities in the future!), the erroneous report was identified and removed.

To those who may have had their days ruined by this ill-timed and inauthentic report, I apologize; please put it down to the quick actions of a fan, too distraught to think about checking the facts as they were (temporarily!) presented.
And to "Slim" himself, I say: Excelsior!

Another RIP

In the past (mere!) couple of months, we've lost two of the premier adventurers, bon vivants, and teste del formaggio. One begins to wonder how many of us there are left in the world - how many of us can there be left in the world?

First, at the end of November, we lost Evel Knievel - well known to all for his many and varied jumps, leaps, crashes, and fractures.

Now comes the news that our favorite Kiwi (that's a person from New Zealand, for those of you not "in the know" about such things!) has passed away at the (still far too young!) age of 88. Yes, Sir Edmund Hillary (Sir Eddy to his friends) has scaled that final peak into the beyond. The first man to scale Everest - who went on to find a route to the South Pole - is no longer with us.

I once remarked to him that the latter feat didn't seem all that impressive to me, once he had described it as simply, "go South until you can only go North - then you're there, Jay; then you're there." That remark was more than half in jest, and it is with wry amusement that I recall it here.

To both Evel and Sir Eddy, I raise a glass and say:
Excelsior!

Holiday Greetings

& other updates on life, business, love, and marketing - not necessarily in that order!

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Kwanzaa! Blessed Whatever!

The solstice is here, and it's time once again for my biennial year-end holiday update on life, the universe, and everything^TM, to coin a phrase. As always, I ask you to accept my apologies for this seemingly impersonal format for my "holiday" message; viz a group email [or an entry to a blog on the "internet" for that matter! -Ed]. Rest assured that I do this only out of respect for our great e-postal workers, who must be up to their virtual eyeballs in electronic greetings at this time of year. It is in their honor that I refrain from introducing individually formatted and addressed missives into the POP or SMTP streams.

There are simply too few full-motion-capable beverage dispensing machines (for now!) to reach each and every one of you with my personal best, and other than my sister, Kay, I didn't think many of you would appreciate a greeting running on Gas Station TV (oh - the odor, oh - the humanity!).


As you know, this has been a momentous year for us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC. Not only have we been quite successful in a business sense, but it has turned out quite nicely for most of us personally as well (Pat's been sacked!).

With the writers' strike dragging on, there had been some talk about moving the air-date of the "Who Wants to Be a Pent-Athlete?" up to fill some potentially dead air. While many of my friends and family seem fit to burst with waiting for this program to air, it's still a bit unlikely, given the program's tie-in with the Olympics in Beijing (Peking to me!), none the less, we'll keep you apprised of any changes.


On a somewhat personal note, I'd like to congratulate my sister, Kay, on her marriage this year to her long-time sweetheart, J. Alden Miles. (As an aside, I urged her most strongly to hyphenate her last name, but she decided to go with Kay Miles, rather than my preferred Kay Miles-Standish - there's no accounting for taste, it seems!) We are fortunate to be able to say that the wedding went off with a hitch (it wouldn't be much of a wedding without one, now would it!?), and we look forward to many more Miles as their family grows.


It's been some time since we've had a national tour of our marketing seminars, and we're planning to remedy that in the upcoming year. In fact, we're looking to expand beyond these United States (!) and to share our thoughts and guidance with our friends to the North (that means Canada for those of our readers not in the geographical know). Current thinking puts us in Camden, Alpharetta, Madison Heights, Ada, Breckenridge, Fullerton, and Sammamish, returning via Chilliwack, Lethbridge, Brandon, Sudbury, and Halifax!

As always, we'll be looking for some forward-looking marketers as co-sponsors of the tour, and we'll keep everyone informed as we make progress with our tour dates and venues.


Finally, speaking of forward-looking, we're looking forward to receiving holiday notes, wishes, updates, and (dare one hope?) goodies for some or each of you. Please know that Jody and I (and all of us here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC! - including Bailey in Finance, who was somewhat upset at being referenced simply as "my bookkeeper" in an earlier newsletter - sorry, Bailey! hope this can help clear things up as the year ends!) wish you and yours the very Happiest of Holidays.

Excelsior!
Jay

Last week, Jay wrote about product integration in comic books:
Steve Kirby responded:
"At first, I was outraged at the idea of one of our heroes 'selling out' to The Man, but then I realized that we've all sold out to The Man in some way. Maybe letting Luke Cage have a favorite BBQ sauce for his ribs isn't such a bad thing, still ..."

Thanks for the kind words, Steve. I know these product integrations can be a difficult hurdle over which to leap: especially at a single bound! Still, once we realize that readers look to these characters for guidance, it seems even worse to tell them to buy generically-named non-brands of anything, doesn't it? I thought you'd see it my way!

-- Jay

Confirmation and Vindication

Sometimes it's a wasteland out there, but

Sometimes it's a perfect storm!

As reader Roy notes in his feedback to our last newsletter, the marketing world is ablaze with conversation regarding our contention in said missive that storytelling is the best way to communicate a brand to potential consumers. Not only that, but it's the only way to truly stay in control of one's brand, rather than trying to accommodate a fickle public's shifting conception thereof.

Quantitative confirmations are nice, but only represent the contents of one side of the beam balance scale. There are the qualitative aspects which must also be considered by our marketing "lady justice" as we measure the efficiency and effectiveness of our marketing efforts. We here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC have many resources from which to draw in this interesting and important area of investigation. We will, no doubt, be revisiting this part of the question in future newsletters; for the nonce, however ....

As the flurry of comments on our internet "blog" indicate, there is a great deal of interest in the topic of storytelling as a marketing practice. It is important to keep in mind, however, that storytelling is not the sole province of full-motion video (including Television!) - no indeed. In fact, some of the greatest stories being told these days are those in Graphic Novels, Manga (no, not the fruit - this is a Japanese phenomenon which we here at Jay Standish, Inc. LLC believe is poised to make the leap to North America within the decade!), and Comic Books.

Yes, you read that correctly - Comic Books.

Imagine having your product (or products!) integrated (in a positive light, of course) into the life of a superhero - on a regular, on-going basis. Let's think of some examples, shall we?

We all know that the Flash (The Fastest Man Alive!) must eat large quantities of food after his high-speed hi-jinks - why couldn't he prefer (and he probably does!) to stop at Quizno's® after those bursts of speed? - after all, they have a Pepper Bar!

Similarly, it might well be Daredevil (The Man Without Fear) behind those Foster Grants^TM worn by Matt Murdock, Esq.

The possibilities seem endless - unless you're marketing or selling Sea Monkeys - then, the end is near, as those cute little fellows simply don't last long, do they? [I remember when my sister and I put our Sea Monkey King and Queen - Louis and Marie, as I recall - and their newly-hatched royal offspring in the tank with the Magic Rocks® and our pet Angelfish, Robespierre. You can, no doubt, guess the somewhat sordid outcome. Would that she and I had been so able! But I digress.]

At any rate, it seems unlikely that many of our readers would be so blind as to miss the obvious benefits lurking just out of reach and sight in the world of the comic books.

• Dr. Steven Strange can't use the Eye of Agamotto to find his way everywhere - so perhaps he consults his Garmin (or TomTom!!?) to find his way around Manhattan.
• Hal Jordan can't always fire up his lantern to see in the dark - perhaps he needs a halogen-bulb mag-lite® for those other times.
• Jughead Jones may well be lactose insurgent and find that he needs to keep a supply of Lactagen® tablets in his pocket if he's going to continue to hang out at Pop Tate's Chocklit Shoppe and have a malted milk now and then.

If I haven't started your mental engines churning like a kid in a china shop, then you aren't the marketing practitioners I've thought you were!

Excelsior!
Jay

Last week, Jay wrote about
storytelling as the best way to manage a brand's identity:
Roy Soleigh responded:
"I don't know if you saw the notices of the study done by the Advertising Research Fund, but they just came out saying that storytelling is the best way to seed brand attributes in the minds of consumers...."

Roy, I hadn't seen that, until today, but it doesn't surprise me a bit. Another reader posted a link to an article about that study on my "blog" so I'll direct you there for a fuller discussion.
At any rate, I believe an extra Excelsior! is appropriate here.
-- Jay

© 2007 Jay Standish, Inc. LLC